


New Memories

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst and Humor, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Sappy Ending, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair had a blow to his head and he is thinking in terms of movies, not real life.  What follows is laughter, fun and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Memories

Summary: Blair had a blow to his head and he is thinking in terms of movies, not real life. What follows is laughter, fun and love. 

 

New Memories  
By Patt 

 

Jim was exhausted and dirty after being in the filthy warehouse. As he strode back into the Major Crimes bullpen, he could hardly wait to finish his report and get into the shower in the locker room. Thank God, he always kept clean clothing at the precinct. Plainly speaking, he stank. Just as he was about to postpone the report and head for the shower, Simon walked into the room and said, "Jim, I need to talk to you in my office."

Jim didn't know what the hell his captain wanted to talk about, but from the frown on his face, he doubted it was anything good. Following the other man back into the office, Jim shut the door. "What's up, Simon?" 

"Now Jim, before you get all upset, I need you to listen," Simon started. "It seems Blair tried to get in the middle of an altercation between some big guys, and managed to get his head knocked up against a brick wall.”

“What?” Jim roared, surging upward and swinging towards the office door. “Why wasn’t I notified immediately? I have to - ”

Having anticipated his detective’s reaction, Simon was already blocking the door, a soothing hand reaching out to rest on Jim’s shoulder. “Whoa, Jim! Sit back down and listen. You weren’t notified because Blair is basically fine. He was taken to the ER, but they released him and he and Connor are on their way here."

With a sigh of relief, Jim settled back in his chair. "Well, that's doesn't sound that bad. I mean, they let him leave so it sounds like he's okay then. Right?" On the surface, Jim seemed the epitome of calm. Only someone who knew him very well, like Simon Banks, would have noticed the minute signs of stress that still told otherwise.

"Well, what exactly is right?" Simon asked, reluctantly. "’Right’ can mean a number of things.”

Leaning forward, all pretense of ease gone, Jim snapped, “Like what?”

Removing his glasses and swiping his hand across his eyes, Simon sighed. “Well, he does have a slight concussion.” Waving his hand, Simon managed to forestall Jim’s next outburst. “Jim! I talked to his doctor myself. He’s got a bump on the head. You probably wouldn’t even know he was hurt, except…”

“Simon!” The last of Jim’s patience came out with the growl.

“Damn! Okay, okay! This is not a real big thing. The shrink at the hospital said he'd come around."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Jim yelled. 

“It seems, er, that Blair’s thinking is a little muddled right now. According to Connor and the doctor, he… well, he seems to think he’s in the movies. He’s throwing out movie quotes faster than Siskel and Ebert.”

"He thinks he is in movies? Explain that one to me, Simon!"

“I’m trying! Like I said, the doctor on duty assured me Sandburg would be fine after a good night’s rest. Until then, we’re just supposed to humor him.”

“Humor him? We’re supposed to _humor_ him?”

Just as he asked that, in walked Blair with Megan trailing bemusedly behind. Everyone patted him on the back as Henry said, "Good job, Hairboy."

"This isn't just a job!" shouted Blair. "This is a fucking adventure!"

Jim jumped up and walked out of the office. He recognized the lines from a Charlie Sheen and Clint Eastwood film. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to listen to that all night long. 

The entire bullpen stopped what they were doing as Henry asked, “Hairboy, you doing all right?”

Blair looked over at a man sitting beside Rafe’s desk and said, “Go ahead and give him a ticket....He hates cops.”

Jim leaned over to Simon who had stepped up beside him and said, “I think that’s _48 Hours_.” 

He walked towards Blair and said, "Chief, how are you feeling? Head hurt?”

Blair looked at his partner and gave an exuberant shout, “He's got more brains and guts than any partner I've ever had!”

Jim smiled weakly and said in a low voice, “Definitely _48 Hours._ ” 

Strolling insouciantly over to Rafe, Blair gave him a long once-over and announced, “Class isn't something you buy. Look at you, you've got a $500 suit on, and you’re still a lowlife.”

Muffled gasps then snickers broke out all over the bullpen, much to Rafe’s chagrin. 

Next, Blair waltzed over to Simon, poked a hard index finger into the bigger man’s chest and snarled, “Listen punk! To me you're nothing but dog shit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dog shit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground, it can dry up and blow away in the wind, or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice, and be careful where the dog shits ya.”

A shocked silence descended as everyone waited for their usually quick tempered boss to explode. Surprisingly, other than a deepening frown, the captain merely stood and listened to what Blair had to say. 

Seemingly satisfied that he had established the power hierarchy, Blair continued, “You want to know why they call me Dirty Harry? Because I do every dirty job that comes along.”

Joel suddenly appeared, putting an arm around Blair’s shoulders to lead him to a seat. “What’s the matter, Blair? Have these people been giving you a hard time?” Looking back over his shoulder, Joel’s dark glance seemed to say that, captain and co-worker or not, if the other two men had been abusing Blair, they’d have him to answer to.

Shaking his head, Blair gently disengaged himself from Joel and smiled as he said, “You forgot your fortune cookie. It says you're shit out of luck.”

Then Blair looked at his bemused partner and shrugged, "Jim, a man has to know his limitations."

"Chief," Jim asked, "do you think you might’ve watched too much Clint Eastwood this weekend? I just need to make a quick stop at the showers, then maybe we should get you home and have you lie down until you feel back to your old self." Looking around at their audience of seven…no, eight, Jim shrugged in turn and said, “Concussion.”

To an understanding chorus of _oh’s_ and _ah’s_ , Jim snatched both of their coats, placed his usual hand on the small of Blair’s back, and began attempting to herd him towards the elevator.

Definitely not ready to call it a day, Blair shoved Jim away and said, " I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots back there or just five?’ Well, I forgot myself in all the excitement. But seeing as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it could blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself just one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?” 

Jim’s mouth opened. And closed. And opened again. Then he started laughing. The whole situation was ridiculous. Soon the entire bullpen was laughing along.

Very unhappy to be the apparent butt of a joke he didn’t get, Blair sneered, "Go ahead, Jim, make my day." 

Jim stopped laughing long enough to ask, "Sandburg, do you have a headache?"

Abruptly, Blair sat at his desk holding his head in his hands and said, "It's not a too-mah."

Still holding his head, he glared at Jim and said, “Dyin' ain't much of a livin.” Blair stood up and shouted, “We don’t have to bury them, Josie. Buzzards gotta eat, same as the worms.”

Grabbing Joel’s head, Blair scrunched the older man’s cheeks and explained earnestly, “When things look bad, and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb mad dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up, then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.”

This started the giggles again. Deciding he needed to hear for himself that Blair would be all right, Jim smiled helplessly and said, "In between Clint, we watched a little Arnold this week, too."

"Chief," he continued, "I'm going to take a quick shower, and then we'll go pick some food up and just watch television and rest. Sound good?"

Blair looked at him and said, "Yeah, whatever. I don't want to kill you, and you don't want to be dead."

With a significant glance at Simon, Jim whispered _Silverado_ and hurried to the elevator. He had to get out of his filthy clothes. The odor was giving him a headache, and, unless he was mistaken, his skin was beginning to itch where a best left unidentified something had soaked through. He’d take the world’s fastest shower, then he’d take Blair home to rest. 

Back in the bullpen, Blair walked over to Connor and said, “That just ain't right. I am tired of things that ain't right.” 

Everyone looked at each other for the answer and Joel said, “I think he’s in _Silverado._ ” 

Turning to Brown, Blair intoned, “The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn't fit, you make alterations.”

Connor jumped up and said, “That’s _Silverado_ , all right!” 

Absently massaging his forehead, Blair sat down at his desk again. “All dressed up, and no one to blow.”

“ _Lethal Weapon_.” Brown guessed.

Blair looked as Brown smiling and said, “We've got the upper hand, Cochise. They think I'm dead.”

Again, the laughter could not be held in any longer. 

“Do ya really wanna jump? Do ya wanna?” Blair asked no one in particular. 

Brown walked over to Blair and said, "Listen, Hairboy, why don’t you just rest for a minute until Jim comes back. Do you need anything?"

"The name’s not Hairboy," Blair said angrily, "and when my boyfriend comes back, he's going to take your face off." Raising the hand that had been covering his eyes, he glared up at Brown. " _Face Off_."

Again, everyone had to laugh, but then Rafe realized what Blair had just said. _Boyfriend._ He looked over at Henry and asked, "Who is his boyfriend?"

Brown said, "Rafe, you're a little slow sometimes, aren’t you? He means Jim, you nut."

An astonished Rafe said, "Ellison. Jim Ellison? He's not Hairboy's man. Hair - I mean, Blair doesn’t have a man! He and I were together this weekend, and we were looking for women."

"Maybe you were. I think that someone should warn Jim," Brown said. "I think that Blair thinks they’re a couple."

Blair got up from the desk and went to the elevator and pushed the button to go down. He decided he'd go and talk to Jim. Simon and Taggert followed him inside out of a sense of real concern, and the knowledge that Jim Ellison would have their hides if anything happened to his partner. Rafe and H just decided to tag along. They couldn't help it. It might just be fun. 

Simon whispered to Taggert, "Now let’s try to keep Jim calm."

Unable to understand the low-voice conversation that ensued, Blair yelled at Simon saying, "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?"

“Sorry, Blair.” Joel answered smoothly. “We were just wondering if Jim will mind us interrupting his shower. Right, Simon?”

“Er, yes. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea, Blair.”

Blair looked at Simon and said, “Simon, I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both, maybe both happening at the same time.”

Simon looked over Blair’s head and whispered, “ _Forrest Gump_ I know this one.” 

Jim was still in the shower, rubbing soap all over his body for the third time, just trying to take away that awful smell. He was so intent on his task that he only vaguely registered anyone entering the locker room. He was quite surprised to look up and see Blair standing in front of the shower staring at him.

The first thing that Blair said was, “You're gonna need a bigger boat." Licking his lips, he added, "Yippee Ki Aye, Mother Fucker!" 

And before Jim could stop Blair, he had leaped into the shower and was running his hands down to Jim's cock. 

With a strangled yelp, Jim turned off the water with one hand while ineffectually trying to stop Blair’s explorations with the other. "Blair," Jim pleaded, his mind a turmoil of emotions, "we need to get out of the shower. I'm cold. Okay? Lets get out, get dried off and get dressed and go home."

Blair smiled sweetly but refused to budge as Jim tried to put a towel around himself, and said, "Ooh, I'd like to tame your shrew."

Simon pulled Blair out of the shower, and he and Joel started drying him off while Rafe and H lounged against the opposite wall and grinned. Jim scowled at them blackly. None of it seemed particularly funny to him. 

Jim dressed in record time. He was confused as hell about Blair’s little performance in the shower and didn't want to risk a repeat performance. 

Taking a deep breath, Jim tried to think of something to say, the right words to explain. Nothing occurred to him. Everyone would just have to realize that Blair wasn’t himself and, therefore, not responsible for his actions. After all, Jim told himself, it could get much worse, but then Blair looked up at him as if they’d been separated for weeks and sighed, "In the words of David Cassidy, when he was still with the Partridge Family, I uh, er, um...think I love you."

Rafe shouted out, “I know this one! _Four Weddings and a Funeral_.” They all laughed, breaking the tension that had begun to build, but Jim still saw the humor in it. 

“Laugh it up. It’s a funeral all right – mine.” 

Joel said, “Come on now, Jim. We all know Blair’s not behaving like he normally would. Nobody here will hold one thing against either of you, but we can’t help it, Jim. He is really funny.”

Blair scowled at Joel and said, “I'm funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? Funny how? How am I funny?”

At a loss, they looked at each other in silence until Dan Wolfe walked into the locker room and said, “That’s one of my favorite lines from _Goodfellas_.”

Blair walked over to him and said, “Dan, I will NOT be ignored!”

Now everyone started howling again, as they explained to Dan what was going on. He joined in on the laughing by then. And he said, “Leave it to Sandburg to remember a line from _Fatal Attraction_.”

When Jim moved to stand beside the wet and waiting Blair, Blair said, "Life is like a box of chocolates."

Brown frowned. "What the hell are you saying that for, Hairboy?"

"Because I'm hungry," Blair said, giggling. Then he leaned into Simon and closed his eyes. 

"Sandburg!" exclaimed Simon. "Leave it up to you to fall asleep standing up." With a little secret smile of fond exasperation, Simon bent over a little and picked Blair up. Carrying him to a bench, he laid him down. 

The thought of home sounded wonderful to Jim as he quickly gathered his things. He couldn’t believe what Blair did to him in the shower. God, neither of them was ever going to be able to live it down. In fact, Jim acknowledged to himself with a rueful smile, he should be fucking embarrassed. Oh, not that Blair was touching him, Jim was fairly certain he didn’t mind that at all, but that Blair was touching him in front of others. Which brought him full circle once again. How in the hell was he going to fix it? How was he going to protect Blair? Leaning his head against a convenient locker door, he hit it once, with his head. When things didn’t miraculously become clearer, he did it again. What could it hurt, right? 

Waking up, either unaware or unconcerned that they still had an audience, Blair stepped up behind Jim and put his hand in between the locker and Jim’s forehead. Speaking softly, he murmured, “You take the blue pill, and the story ends. You wake in your bed, and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, and you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

No one had a clue as to what the hell that meant. Except for Jim. “We watched _The Matrix_ the other night,” Jim said. “Blair really liked it. Said it had a lot of profundities.” Everyone seemed to understand, or at least, they seemed to realize that it was a Blair thing and, therefore, acceptable, whether understandable or not. 

“So he’s still talking in riddles,” Brown said. “When will he be back to our old Hairboy, the real thing?”

Blair walked over to Brown and smiled. “What is real? How do you define real? If you’re talking about your senses, what you feel, taste, smell, or see, then all you’re talking about are electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

Brown couldn’t help it; he had to smile. “Leave it to Hairboy, to be his own person.” 

With a hint of admiration, Rafe agreed, “You know, he has to be the most free thinking guy I have ever met.” 

“Yeah.” Blair agreed with a smile. “Free my mind. Right. No problem.”

Brown and Rafe looked at Jim who shrugged, “He’s still in _The Matrix_.”

“Well,” Simon said, “what he doesn’t know, can’t hurt him. So for a change, I’m glad he’s not totally aware. If he’s lucky he won’t remember any of this.” With a significant look at his detectives, he added, “Especially since no one else in this room will remember it.”

The quick nods and mumbled acknowledgements enabled Jim to conjure up a small smile of thanks.

”Ignorance is bliss.” Blair said to Simon and walked over to Jim. Suddenly looking confused and upset at the same time, he said, “I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer.” 

Jim put his arm around Blair and pulled him in for a hug, wet clothes and all. “Chief,” Jim soothed, “things will be all right. We just need to get you home and have you rest. Everything will look brighter tomorrow.” Then Jim released Blair and headed for the door.

“A heart can be broken, but it keeps beating just the same.” Blair said with such sadness that Jim turned around and pulled him back into his arms. 

Rafe whispered to Brown, “That’s from _Fried Green Tomatoes._ I love that chick flick.”

“You are too twisted for color TV,” Blair said to Rafe. “Can I help it if I’d rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special?” 

Stymied again, they had just about given up when Connor walked into the locker room and said, “Oh, Sandy, those are two of my favorite lines from _Steel Magnolias._ I take it you loved the movie, too.”

“Connor,” Jim said, “remember that Sandburg has a concussion and a memory problem. He is thinking in terms of movie lines and quotes. I don’t think a deep conversation about your favorite place to buy popcorn would make much sense; unless, of course, you think you can understand what he’s really trying to say.”

“Well, I’m sure Blair knows what he means,” Connor said smiling. 

“I’d agree with you, if you were right,” Sandburg said to Connor. 

“I’m sure you would, Sandy, and that’s from _Awakenings_.” Turning to the rest of the intrepid band, she asked, “Did I miss anything while I was still upstairs doing my job?” This last part was said with much sarcasm. 

Dan Wolfe started laughing and said, “You missed a bunch.”

Blair looked at Dan and said, “Sometimes, you just gotta say, 'What the Fuck?’"

Dan smiled and said, “That’s too easy, _Risky Business_.”

Connor said, “So did I miss anything important?”

Brown said, “Well, only if you count the fact that Sandburg was feeling Ellison up in the shower.”

“Brown!” Simon’s roar seemed to vibrate off the lockers. 

Henry had the good sense to mumble a quick “Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to forget,” as he stepped behind Rafe for protection.

“Oh my God!” Connor shouted. “Why do I always miss the best parts? And what did you do, Ellison? Knock him on his ass?” 

“He’s got a concussion,” Jim answered glacially. “I really don’t think this is the time or place to be discussing anything. He doesn’t mean anything by it. It was the knock on the head.”

Blair walked up to Jim and looked at him sadly as he brushed his hand across Jim’s face. Blair knew that something was wrong with Jim, and if the conversation that seemed to ebb and flow just beyond the reach of his comprehension was any indication, he had had something to do with it. As usual, he had disappointed the one person in the world that he wanted to be proud of him – that he wanted to love him. 

“Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable,” Blair said. “I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly guy, like the look of him, hope the look of me didn't make him physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.” 

Connor said, “Okay, the first part was from _Wizard of Oz_. I just watched it, but don’t have a clue as to the last part.”

“ _Four Weddings and a Funeral,_ ” Jim stated coolly, “We just watched it the other night.”

“It's the same things your whole life. Clean up your room!" Blair said. "Stand up straight! Pick up your feet! Take it like a man! Be nice to your sister! Don't mix beer and wine, ever! Don't drive on the railroad track! Well, I’m sick of doing everything that I’m supposed to do. I want something different. What if I want something different?"

At a total loss for words, Simon looked at Jim. 

Jim replied briefly, “ _Groundhog Day_.” 

Suddenly, his attention was drawn back to Blair. His heart was beating way too fast. His breathing was too rapid; Blair was on his way to a panic attack. Jim walked over to him and said, “Chief, what’s wrong?”

“How do you know that my dimwitted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation, used to lower people's expectations?” Blair asked. “Thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?” 

“Dammit, Chief,” Jim growled in frustration. “I need to understand what the fuck you’re talking about. That didn’t give me a clue.”

“That’s from the movie, _Scream_ ,” Rafe said. “It might mean that he feels unsure of himself and what he is saying or doing. Maybe it’s a confidence thing. Sandburg, are you having problems talking to Big Jim Ellison?”

Jim glared at Rafe. “Shut the fuck up, Rafe. I don’t need any help from you.”

Blair turned to Rafe and rolled his eyes as he said, “Okay. Now let’s try to get an answer from someone who’s not a complete retard. Just like talking to a god-damned door.”

“Chief,” Jim said, “I think you just insulted me. What did I say that got you so pissed off?”

“I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.” Blair said, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

From his seat in the peanut gallery, formerly known as the locker room bench, Joel jumped up and shouted, “ _Forrest Gump_ , right?” 

Blair looked over at Jim with a funny look in his eyes and asked, “Tell me, Jimmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

Caught in the middle of taking a breath, Jim just about swallowed his tongue. Joel said, “That one is from _Airplane_!”

Blair looked over at Rafe and said, “You still here? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother.”

“That was cold even for you being out of it.” Rafe was frowning but still trying to figure out what movie Blair was channeling now. Oh yeah, _Goodfellas_ again.

“Blair,” Simon asked, “you said you were hungry, do you want me to go and get you something to eat?”

"God, how can I eat when you're sitting there with fur stuck in your teeth!" Blair asked.

They all looked at each other and tried to figure this one out. Jim finally said, “ _Alien Nation_.”

Walking up to Jim, Blair poked a finger in his chest as he said, “You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. I say we hire a couple of wranglers to go up and beat the shit out of him.”

Laughing, Connor said, “ _9 to 5._ ” 

Very upset now, Blair turned to Jim and said, “Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up, and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The job! Doing the job! Now that's the reason!”

Suddenly, all traces of humor in Blair’s audience vanished. What had begun as an amusing diversion born on the relief that their friend wasn’t badly hurt, now seemed a tawdry excuse to gain a laugh at another’s expense. 

Before anyone could make a move to apologize, or leave, Jim turned to Blair and said, “Chief, we need to get you home, now.” 

He waited while Blair seemed to think it over. “You can stick your well laid plan up your well laid ass.” 

Wincing in sympathy, Rafe whispered, “I think that was from _Die Hard With A Vengeance_.” Brown nodded in agreement. 

Blair started backing up with a look of terror on his face as Jim started towards him. “Go dial 911! Somebody's about to get killed.” 

“Chief,” Jim said, “you know I would never hurt a hair on your head. Come here.”

With another mercurial change of mood, Blair smiled and put his arms around Jim. 

With a sigh of amused exasperation, Jim looked around at everyone and said, “Could I please talk to Sandburg alone?”

Blair spoke up, “Look, why don't we just the cut the shit here? We both know why I was transferred. People think I'm crazy, in which case, I'm fucked, and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked, and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.” Leaning forward, he whispered sadly, “Jim, I wish I was fucked.” 

At yet another glare from Jim, everyone made haste to get out of the room, stopping just outside to stare at each other in disbelief. Simon opened his mouth to repeat his earlier request for a general amnesia, but before he could speak, a voice from inside the locker room stopped him.

“I just wanted to feel the power between my legs, Jim.” Blair said quietly, putting his head on Jim’s chest. Jim held him close as he rubbed his back trying to calm his friend down. 

“Shit, do you believe he just said that?” Brown hissed. “Rafe, did you just hear that? What movie is that from?”

Rafe said, “ _Armageddon_. I love that line, and I love that movie.”

Blair said, “Jim, I know that look, I know what’s said next. You have a right to remain silent. So shut the fuck up. You have a right to an attorney. If you can’t afford an attorney, we'll provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. And if you hire Johnny Cochran, I'll kill you.”

With a fond smile, Joel whispered, “He’s back to _Lethal Weapon_ again.” 

“Jim,” Blair said, “what if I told you how insane it was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years, at the end of which they tell you to piss off then you end up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane?” 

“Blair,” Jim replied, “I don’t understand that. You have to tell me more than that. I don’t know what you mean or want.”

Unable to resist the opportunity to play matchmaker, Connor poked her head around the corner, “I think he might be telling you that he’d be insane to let this opportunity pass him by. He wants to tell you how he feels about the two of you. And he doesn’t want to miss it. And that was from _Con Air_ , by the way.”

“Connor,” Jim said, “stop listening. This is supposed to be private.”

With an unapologetic shrug, Megan disappeared back around the corner.

“I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.” Blair said sadly. “Jim, I need to lay down now.”

He walked over, lay down on the bench, and closed his eyes. Suddenly feeling like he was on the brink of exhaustion himself, Jim looked down at his sleeping partner, allowing all the affection he felt for the younger man to show. That was how Simon found him when the continued silence from the locker room began to worry the little band of eavesdroppers. A hasty whispered consultation later, he placed a gentle hand on Jim’s back and told him to grab his things and head for the truck. When Jim moved to protest, Simon assured him that they were make sure Sandburg was right behind him.

Brown grabbed Blair’s shoulders, and Rafe grabbed his legs, and they started walking towards the elevator. As they shuffled awkwardly forward, followed by Simon, Megan and Joel, H asked Rafe, “What line was that last one from? I liked it.”

“ _The Object of My Affection_ ,” Jim answered them, smiling over his shoulder at the slow moving group and their burden. 

Brown said, “You’re not mad at Hairboy, are you?”

“What do you think?” Jim said smiling. “‘Look at this face, do I look mad?’ I can’t stay mad at him anyhow.”

“ _The Sixth Sense_ ,” Joel smiled approvingly, stepping back with the others when the elevator door slid open. Answering the quiet well wishes and goodbyes with a weary wave of his hand, Jim stepped inside first. 

As H and Rafe carefully maneuvered Blair onto the elevator, Blair woke up for a moment and said to Jim, "Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't. You're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that you were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?"

Rafe gave Jim an odd look, and Jim said, “ _While You Were Sleeping_. We watch a lot of movies together.” Jim found himself smiling more as they got closer to the truck. This was going to be all right. 

Once they got Blair into the truck, Jim buckled his seat belt up, thanked Brown and Rafe for helping him, and went to the other side of the truck to get in. 

Brown said, “Ellison, take good care of him. We really like him, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know. I do too,” Jim said smiling. “Thanks for everything, guys.” With that said, he drove out of the parking garage.

Blair slept all the way to the loft. Once there, Jim hopped out of the truck and went over to Blair’s side to get him. Waking up suddenly, Blair smiled at Jim and said, “Why are we home?”

“You hit your head, Chief,” Jim answered. “You got knocked out and have a concussion. So we need you to get some rest and get back on your feet.”

All of a sudden, Blair got a desperate look on his face and said, “Oh shit! Jim, man, I’m so sorry.” He jumped out of the truck and took off for the loft as quickly as he could. 

_Well,_ thought Jim, _so much for him not remembering what he said to me._ Not sure what to expect, he walked slowly up the stairs. Once he got to the door, he could hear Blair in his room packing a bag. Mustering a smile, he opened Blair’s door and said, “Chief, what are you doing?”

“I’m leaving before you throw me out,” Blair told him stiffly. “I mean, I can’t believe I said those things to you, that I did that to you. The worst part is, it was all in front of your friends. Jim, I’ll never be able to apologize for this, ever.”

“I’ll have you know,” Jim said, “that they consider you their friend too. They aren’t just mine. And they understood.”

Suddenly shy and desperately uncertain, Blair asked, “Jim, why aren’t you angry?”

“"You are everything I never knew I always wanted." Jim said smiling. He walked over to Blair, took him into his arms, and kissed him hard. He put everything he had into that kiss. He wanted Blair to remember this forever. 

Blair finally pulled back and said softly, “ _Fools Rush In_.”

“Correct. I knew that if we kept going to all those movies, I would find something in them that I could use someday. It worked, Chief.”

“Does this mean you feel the same way? Shit, why didn’t either of us say anything?”

“Because we’re dumb shits?” Jim said laughing.

Blair went back into Jim’s arms and they kissed again. After several long, breathless minutes, Jim asked, “How about we go upstairs and let you get some sleep? It’s been a rough day, Chief.”

“You lead and I’ll follow.” Blair said smiling. “I love you, Jim.”

“And I love you.” Jim said as he took Blair’s hand into his, and they started up the stairs to the loft bedroom.

+++++

When Jim walked into the bullpen the next morning, he could hear the small noises everyone was making to keep from laughing. Yes, he knew that he was walking a little funny. He couldn't help it. He’d had a hard night.

Just then, the elevator doors opened and in walked Blair with a big grin on his face. 

"Hairboy," Henry called out, "why are you so damn happy?" 

"High on life," Blair replied smiling, "just high on life, man. What's up with you, H?"

"Not much," Brown said, "but your partner is in for some mighty fine teasing as the day goes on. He can hardly sit. What did you do to him, Hairboy?"

Everyone started laughing and Blair smiled as he said, "Don't you wish you all knew?” Blair let the laughter continue for a few moments longer then held up his hand for silence, “As some of you may recall, I was a little out of it yesterday.” 

“That’s the world’s biggest understatement.” Megan exclaimed.

Coloring a little, Blair agreed, “Yeah, yeah, anyway, while Jim was carrying me up the stairs last night because I had that head injury, he tripped. Dropped me, rolled right over the top of me, then landed on his ass at the bottom of the stairs. Luckily, nothing important was broken, though my concussion was not too happy about it."

"Sandburg," Simon shouted, "you better be joking. If your head still hurts, you need to be home. Not here. We saw what came of that yesterday. And did your partner really fall down the stairs?"

"Yes, Simon," Blair said sweetly. "Why would I make that up? I mean, like Jim wanted to carry me up the stairs. I'm not that small or light. And then he smacked his ass and hurt his back when he fell." Suddenly, all the sweetness drained away, and Blair cast a steely look at his co-workers. “So if you’re thinking about ragging on Jim today, I suggest you don’t. Just because his ass is sore, doesn’t mean he can’t still kick yours. And if he doesn’t, I will.”

"Sandburg," Jim snarled, "you don't have to tell them anything, it's none of their business."

"I realized that, Jim," Blair said simply, "but I don't want them talking about you like that, okay?"

"All right, Chief." Jim said in a contrite whisper. "Did I mention how much I enjoyed last night? I want to fall down stairs again tonight."

Blair snickered all the way to the break room. 

Connor came inside and said, "So, you fell down the stairs, Ellison. Poor thing. I want to see bruises."

"Fuck you, Connor," Jim said, angrily. "I don't owe anyone an explanation."

"That's right," Blair added, "Jim doesn't have to show anyone anything."

Connor smiled at the two of them and said, "Oh, you guys are good. Everyone is out there feeling sorry for you right now. When in reality, you know and I know that you didn't fall down any stairs. Your ass is sore all right, but that’s not why." 

She laughed as she walked away. 

"Geez," Blair said. "Too bad she doesn't put half as much time on the cases as she does on baiting you. Sorry, Jim."

"Chief," Jim said calmly, "how many times do I have to tell you, I don't regret anything other than the fact that I can hardly sit. If this is how you make love with a concussion, I’ll never survive you at one hundred percent." Laughing, they both walked out of the break room. 

Simon walked up to them and said, "So, how are you really feeling, Sandburg? And what did the doctor say when you went back in?"

 _Man_ , thought Blair, _he knows. He knows I made it all up. Shit._ "Sir, I didn't have to go back to the hospital. Jim checked me out," Blair said. "And he could tell I was okay. So as long as I take it easy today, everything will be fine."

"Ah," Simon continued, "so it’s safe to say that Jim is fine, and you'll be fine in a day or two?"

"Actually, Sir," Sandburg said, "Jim's a little off today. He's been saying kind of odd things all day long. Maybe you should tell everyone what to expect. Ass injuries can be tricky, you know."

Jim and Blair smiled at each other, and Jim headed for Rafe, Brown, Connor, and Joel. 

“Oh no.” Simon said firmly. “We had enough chaos around here yesterday to last a month. Jim do you want to take the rest of the day off?”

Jim replied, “They're saying 'Go to the nearset liquor store, get ye a fifth Jack of Daniels, that ye may be shitfaced!”

Leaning down to Blair, he whispered loud enough for everyone to hear, “Romance isn't trashy.”

Blair said to everyone, “ _Fisher King_ , it’s one of Jim’s favorites.”

“He doesn't understand. Explain as you would to a child.” Jim said to Simon.

“Oh I have this one, it’s from _Galaxy Quest_.” Megan yelled out. “But, I don’t understand. Why is Jim talking in movie quotes? I thought he hit his ass, not his head.”

Blair just shrugged as Jim walked over to Rafe and Henry and said, “I've never seen a cop feeling sorry for himself. Mind if I watch?”

Joel walked over to his desk and put his ear phones on. He wanted to try and relax instead of letting Jim get the better of him in what he now recognized was some sort of well thought out revenge plan. Unfortunately, his diligent efforts to disappear were for nothing as Jim walked over to him, pulled his earphones away from his head, and said, “There are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't.”

“Oh man,” Brown said, “we are on _What About Bob_ , now.”

Jim walked up to Rafe and said, “Hi, my name is Bob. Would you please knock me out?”

“Huh?” Asked a thoroughly confused Rafe.

Joel said, "All right, I suppose we deserve this. You are going to tease us today, aren't you?”

"Men do not dance." Jim yelled at Joel. "They work, they drink, they have bad backs, they don't dance!" Then, he executed a quick two-step and bowed deeply before his astonished co-workers.

Everyone started laughing and clapping. Even Blair. They all looked at him questionably, and he said, "We watched _In and Out_ the other night."

"All right, that is sufficient." Simon bellowed through the bullpen. "Enough is enough. Now if you'd all get back to work, that would be a excellent idea."

Jim and Blair grinned and waved as they walked to the elevator to take their medical day off. Still very aware of their audience, Blair put a little wiggle in his step as Jim's hand crept down towards Blair's ass. 

After they left, Joel laughed, "I still can’t decide which part was kidding and which part was real. You gotta love those guys."

"Cute couple," Rafe said. "Brown, did you figure Jim for a guy's guy?"

"Hell," Brown said, "I'm still trying to get over the shower scene yesterday. I just can't get it through my brain. Not that I mind it. I don't. I just never would have thought Ellison would swing that way. Doesn't strike me as the type."

"Did everyone have a hearing loss in the last ten minutes?" Simon yelled into the bullpen. They quickly picked up their work and tried to look busy. But occasionally, someone would snort or snicker and subdued laughter would have the run of the room again. And, inside his office, Simon would hear it and smile. 

The end


End file.
